A letter to my first baby, as we prepare for our second.
photo by Natalie Sleighthome
To my first, sweet baby boy who made me a mama.
The time is going quickly, much quicker than when you were in my belly.
Soon, you will be a big brother, and my little love, you are going to be the most incredible big brother.
You have probably noticed me slowing down, not able to run with you like I could before. Not able to carry you as much.
You have probably noticed daddy getting up with you on your early mornings, and in the night when you need something.
You have probably noticed me not able to play with you the same, not able to get up and down off the floor as easily.
You have probably already noticed changes, and there are more coming.
As my belly grows, and the space for you on my lap lessens, my heart aches just a little.
Aches, that your little life and routine as you know it, are about to be completely different.
Aches, knowing that I won’t be able to give you the same ‘amount of me’, that I can now.
Aches, because I wonder, will you feel that there is less space for you in our lives once your brother arrives?
Aches, in fear that I will miss my time with just you.
People keep telling me that my heart will grow, but I can’t quite fathom how my love will multiply.
How I could ever love another, with that same gut-wrenching love that I feel for you.
Thank you for teaching me this love. Actually, thank you for teaching me everything I know about being a mom.
I am sure, that in the months to come I will look back at these words and laugh, wondering why I was so scared.
I will look at you, and your little brother, and wonder why I felt so nervous.
Because, deep down I know, that you are ready, and that you are going to be the most incredible big brother.
Deep down I know, I am going to love your baby brother with that same gut-wrenching, heart-aching love, that I love you with.
I know, that I will look back and never be able to imagine life without the two of you in it.
Deep down, I know that this transition is going to be life changing-ly beautiful.
I love you with my whole heart,
Your mama
Photo by Natalie Sleighthome